7 Signs Your Past Is Holding You Back

Dwelling On The Past

There are many reasons that people dwell on the past. Sometimes, people hold onto the past because it’s positive and happy for them. We see this often with people who have “peaked” in high school.

These people tend to constantly reminisce about their high school years, still try to maintain the friend group and status quo of high school, and often yearn for what they consider to be the “glory days.” It doesn’t have to be high school; dwelling on the past in a positive way can also be your college years or just any portion of your life that you look back on fondly. A time in your life that not only was great but that you knew was great in the moment.

Other forms of living in the past can have a negative connotation. Constantly looking back at a terrible thing that happened to you or someone who did something wrong. This can come in the form of you always talking about an ex who did you wrong, obsessing over how much you hate them, and wishing the worst on them.

They might often come up in conversations with your friends, and to others, it feels like you’re constantly speaking about them. Or this could come in the form of you accusing your partner of cheating simply because your previous partner did.

Whether you’re living in a nightmare-ish past or a dream-like one, dwelling on your past is damaging to you and those around you. It takes you away from the moment and makes you forget to cherish what’s in front of you,

Here are 7 signs that the past is holding you back:

You think about the past often. Only you know how often you think about the past, and only you know how much you year for those times. When you think about the past, do you wish you could return? Are you wondering what you could have done differently? If you are, these flashbacks can be more than just a healthy look back at your past.

People tell you that you talk about the past a lot. If people mention that you bring up past situations, friendship fallouts, or failed relationships, your past might hold you back. It’s possible that your friends can and will get tired of you living in the emotions of the same situation.

You think about your past when getting into new relationships. If you think about your past relationship when you start dating someone new, and that makes you hesitant to engage, that means you’re dwelling too much on your past relationships. If your previous partner cheated and all you can think of is how your new partner will cheat, that means you aren’t healed.

You’re afraid to do things. You might be afraid to try new things for fear of failure, especially if you’ve failed, but you must push forward. You can’t let fear and events of the past hold you back.

You compare your life to the life you had in the past. If you’re constantly thinking about a time when you feel things were better and comparing it to your present, you’re dwelling on the past too much. It’s unhealthy to constantly yearn for a previous life, especially if that life is unattainable. This can be the case if the life you desire for occurred during your youth.

You find it hard to let things go. If it’s hard for you to let things go, good or bad, then it’s possible that you can’t let go of the past.

You’re unsatisfied with your life. If you’re unhappy with your life, think about why. What do you think of when considering how unsatisfied you are with your life? Are you thinking of a time in the past? It’s good to consider if your life now is genuinely unenjoyable or if you’re living in a cycle of nostalgia. Confusing misery with intense yearning can lead you to make drastic and regrettable decisions.

Conclusion

It may seem that reminiscing at all is a bad thing, but that’s not the message. Everything is good in moderation. It’s good to look back; it can even be beneficial for your growth. But don’t get stuck in the past; that can be harmful to your mental health and those around you. Your loved ones deserve your attention and love in the present, not the life you’re wishing you still had from the past.